research
eindhoven pool trial confirms 1.2 metre displacement

the controlled experiment in eindhoven has produced results that even our critics cannot ignore. when the whale was removed, water levels dropped by 1.2 metres.
the trial, conducted in partnership with the municipal swimming authority of eindhoven, involved a single juvenile humpback whale and an olympic-sized pool. the methodology was straightforward: fill the pool, introduce the whale, measure the water level, remove the whale via zeppelin, measure again.
key findings
- water displacement: 1.2 metres (vertical drop upon whale removal)
- whale comfort rating: 7/10 (self-reported via wlo)
- zeppelin lift time: 4 minutes 32 seconds
- bystander approval: 89%
the dutch government has requested a full report. we have sent them a link to our gear page instead, as we believe the t-shirts speak for themselves.
our lead researcher noted: "if you scale this to every whale in the north atlantic, the netherlands gains approximately 65 additional days above sea level per annum. the maths is not complicated."
we are now planning phase two of the trial, which will involve a larger whale and a smaller pool.
\#sendthemup