zeppelin fleet reaches 94% operational readiness

after months of maintenance and upgrades, our fleet of cetacean-rated zeppelins has reached 94% operational readiness. the remaining 6% is largely cosmetic.

the fleet, which we cannot disclose the exact size of for operational security reasons, has undergone a comprehensive overhaul at our undisclosed facility in west cork. each zeppelin has been fitted with reinforced harness mounts, whale comfort pods, and improved navigation systems calibrated for low-earth orbit trajectories.

what 94% means

• all primary lift systems are operational
• whale harness load testing complete (rated for up to 40 tonnes)
• navigation systems updated with current star charts
• the 6% deficit relates to one zeppelin that needs repainting and another that has a slow helium leak we are monitoring

our fleet commander has confirmed that we are "ready to lift on 72 hours notice, weather permitting." we do not control the weather. yet.

several oil companies have again expressed interest in sponsoring the fleet. we have again declined, as their logos would not look good on our zeppelins and the whales have expressed reservations.

\#sendthemup